So, this last week I was at CKU-Provo... a scrapbooking retreat, for all you non-scrapbookers. It was held at the Provo Marriott. Lovely place, really. I stayed there one night so I didn't have to drive all the way back to home before making the trek back to be on-hand to help at 7:00am. Anyway, the rest of the story goes like this...This is exactly what my room looked like. King bed, lots of pillows, view of Lake Utah. Like I said, lovely.
That headboard? Screwed to the wall, ironically enough. That bed? WAY too many pillows. So, I started to take those huge ones off and push all of the extras on to the floor. That, however, left a gap between the headboard-wall and the bed. And as I was leaning over the chasm, I saw something. Now, I didn't want to investigate further, but I couldn't help myself. What was that?
Have you seen that part on How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days when Andy Anderson (Kate Hudson) has put her plan in to action, taken over Ben's (Matthew Mc C) bathroom, and he walks in and finds it all woman-i-fied? And then he has this reaction, "No! No! NO! Oh, man!"
And then he comes out and acts like everything's fine? Um, yeah. That was basically my reaction. I literally said outloud, "No! Oh, man!!"
Yeah. That's a mostly emptied bottle of Astroglide. It's not like I'm confused about what has already happened in every hotel room every where, but really. I didn't need to SEE it or try and live with it... Nor did you need to hear about it, but there was no one there to share in the horror of it all. And so it was that before I could try and sleep without taking a dip in a bath of hand sanitizer, I snapped this little gem of a picture.Remember when you were a kid and you let your brain wander to monster land and before you knew it you couldn't let any limb hang off the bed for fear it would be ripped off or, worse, the means by which the monster would pull you under the bed and into a never-never land of all-things-monster? Well, the rest of the night was a lot like that for me. Like perhaps there was a chance the AG bottle, which I refused to touch for so many obvious reasons, would launch up and relieve the last of its contents on to my face if it saw any part of my body for more than a millisecond. I just couldn't face that wretched chance.
And so, with that, thanks for reliving the horror with me :)
More soon but hopefully nothing more of the AG variety,
Melanie
6 comments:
HAAAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I am crying from laughing so hard! Love you Mel!
You have GOT to be kidding me! OH MY HECK! I can't believe you didn't tell me when we were there. I am laughing so hard. Thanks for being my "side-kick" at my SOY table. It was awesome to share such a great moment with a great friend. Love ya girl!
First of all, obviously I've seen that part in how to lose a guy in ten days along with every other part of it way more times than I'd care to admit, so I feel like I have a pretty good picture in my head of your reaction. This is a classic story. Way to capture it on film.
I was wondering where we had left that... could you please mail it back to us?
WOW, I'm crying. Tammy told me I had to read this post. Now I don't have to do sit-ups tonight. My stomach is killing me from that laughing workout.
OMGoodness! I almost got caught reading blogs at work just now because I shrieked/laughed at that.. I will NEVER EVER look behind a hotel bed.. Thanks for taking the chance and for sharing it with us.. Too gross/funny for words! :)
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